Perpetrators of sexism, misogyny and gender-based harassment are targeting women’s sense of self. When we think of oppression, we need to remember the goal is keeping the oppressed group in the down position. Distorting the self-regard of the target lessons the likelihood that the oppressed feels worthy enough to fight back and hold appropriate boundaries. After all, why would a woman stand up for herself and other women if the underlying, maybe even unconscious, belief is, “maybe I deserve to be treated this way.”
Sexist microaggressions, misogynistic violence, and gender-based attacks on women’s sense of self cover a broad range of actions. One simple area that can be a starting point for observation is our views on the woman that is “too…” When considering the dynamics of patriarchal oppression, women that are “too…” may be the most threatening to the oppressor. She is the one that needs to be brought back down to size. If you hear yourself, or another woman, being defined as some form of “too much,” you may decide to use this as a trigger for a self-reflection. Consider if you are perpetrating sexism, have some internalized misogyny, or are being complicit in sexism, by not offering your counter opinion. She was too… you can insert any sexist slur here – too…angry, loud, outspoken, opinionated, aggressive, bossy, stuck up, slutty, crazy, selfish, hysterical. There is a subtle message in “too” that asks women to be less, to be small and non-threatening, silent, insignificant and shrink back to her proper role in service to men, as prescribed by the patriarchy.
Self-esteem researchers Mark Leary and Geoff MacDonald point to the harm of sexism in their chapter Individual differences in self-esteem: A review and theoretical integration in the Handbook of Self and Identity. They report that how others view and treat you has an effect on self-esteem. They define the intended harm as targeting the “deep sense of unconditional worth and wellbeing that sexism works to erode.”
The distortion of sexism interferes with a woman’s ability to know and present her authentic self. It narrows her choices of self-expression and personality based on androcentric gender norms. Its insidious impact may be that women do not feel ok, valued and appreciated for exactly who they are. It sends a message that if you want to be in relationship, you need to be less than who you are. Therefore, lacking self-awareness on how your sense of self has been shaped by patriarchal norms may interfere with any true intimacy. Intimacy is experienced in relationship when both parties bring their full self to meet.
While earlier understandings of trauma defined trauma as requiring a life-threatening event, trauma experts, including Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk in his book Traumatic stress: the effects of overwhelming experience on mind, body, and society are expanding their views as research demonstrates that prolonged exposure to oppression has traumatic effects.
With the hallmark of targeting a person’s self-regard, oppression is a form of identity-based trauma. Identity-based trauma has been well studied as a construct in relation to racism. Robert T. Carter’s research published as, Racism and Psychological and Emotional Injury: Recognizing and Assessing Race-Based Traumatic Stress supports this idea that beyond the sudden shock trauma, prolonged exposure to oppression has traumatic effects. It is important to note how the intersectionality of sexism with racism, ageism, heterosexism, cisgenderism, or holding any other marginalized identity may amplify women’s identity based trauma.
The extension of identity-based trauma in relation to sexism has also been identified. Researchers have found that the cumulative trauma of gender discrimination does impact self esteem. In fact, the research of Kira and associates classifies gender discrimination as a type III trauma, one that is potentially the most severe form of trauma. Gender-based trauma is pervasive, insidious, chronic, and ongoing trauma with accumulative effects. It may not stop, at least not in our lifetimes.